johua tree | following the light

after tedactive, i spent a couple days in joshua tree to decompress from an exhausting/energizing week. i went from spending 24/5 with 800 people to the solitude of the desert. it was the perfect way to bookend such a powerful week of inspiration, ideas, paradigm shifts and relational progress. i went from listening to people talk (and talking myself) to spending most of my time quietly being and listening to the presence of the desert.

the ted conference teaches me that humans have a tremendous capacity to discover and articulate the mysteries of and "solutions" for this world. it's blown my mind at times. but, in its silence, the wilderness articulates this world's truths by simply being itself. it's been preparing its "18-minute talk" since the beginning of time and has always been open source for anyone who wants to listen. the wilderness invites me to be with, not needing to be anyone else but me. i don't have to show it my resume or list my accolades or tell her who i know. she invites me to show up simply as i am. it's there i remember that i am beloved in all the world, to the Creator of it all.



perhaps that's why i love being in the wilderness so much.

quote | until we have found you

Mystify us, arouse and confuse us. Shatter our illusions and plans so that we lose our way, and see neither path nor light until we have found you, where you are to be found and in your true form--in the peace of solitude, in prayer, in submission, in suffering, in succour given to another, and in flight from idle talk and worldly affairs.... For how foolish it is, O Divine Love, not to see you in all that is good and in all creatures. Why, then, try to find you in what you are not?

Jean Pierre de Caussade

quote | love's bright light

It happens all the time. The illusion dies so something deeper can take its place. Romance serves its purposes. It's a meditative state. It puts logic to sleep so that people can come together. Otherwise you guys probably wouldn't risk it. Love is big. It's a bright light in the universe. And a bright light casts a big shadow.
Barbara Hall

quote | letting the love and light flow

When we begin to discover and to drop the barriers and fears which prevent us from being ourselves and which prevent the life of the Holy Spirit from flowing through us, we become more simple. Simplicity is no more and no less than being ourselves, knowing that we are loved. It is knowing that we are accepted, with our qualities, our flaws and as we are in the depths of our being. Simplicity is letting the love and the light of God flow and shine through us.
Jean Vanier

the farm | these days...

the sunflowers are racing the barn to see who can touch the clouds first.
the blueberries are bubbling.
the new lavender whisper secrets in the breeze.
the path engulfs. 
&
i find myself celebrating my fourth summer here on the farm. i have had the immense privilege to witness exquisite beauty and growth, both around and inside each of us here.

 

random | dusk beers

a couple things here:
drink beer at dusk, even if it's winter and very very cold. 
bring candles when you go camping.
be picky about the sticks you collect. they have to be perfect! you never know when you end up in a magicians' wand fight. 

havasupai | liquid gold

the reflection of the morning light is simply exquisite, isn't it? 

havasupai | four hours

my right ankle flared up again on wednesday night after our 10 mile hike in. so the next day, i ended up staring at havasu falls for four hours while waiting for the rest of the ladies to come back from picking up our permit in the village.


sometimes the gift of physical pain is that it forces us to be still. our bodies will have it no other way. it's rare these days to be given the luxury to just sit and stare at something beautiful. i soaked in that time by either staring at havasu fall or dangling my feet in the water, thinking much about nothing, just being there, feeling the rays of sun on my arms.


murphy (the campground ranger and local havasupai) eventually came by to chat. (we met earlier that day.) i asked him questions about his life on the reservation, his family, the tribe, the struggles of life on the res, etc, and he shared candidly what he could. from our conversation, i hope to never forget how he responded to my question, "what gives you hope?" it wasn't so much the words that followed, but the intonations in his voice, the blank look on his face, the obvious inward journey he was unexpectedly thrusted into. murphy repeated, "hope?" my heart broke a little bit in that moment.


after he left, i spent some time staring at a couple who stood on solid rock, just holding each other. the husband's gentle caress, the wife's trusting embrace, touched a part of me that longs for a partner like the one they've found in each other. compassionate, not demanding anything, instead generously giving and receiving, and comfortable to just be with each other.


i later talked to the woman by saying to her, "can i share an observation?" a big smile and an open heart said, "sure!" i told her, "you two seem like you're very much in love." this sparked a longer conversation about how she's been married for over twenty years and that it is (as in currently) not easy. they've had many struggles and have been working hard at their marriage, most recently going to counseling 1-2xs/week for a year and a half. "we're still learning," she humbly told me. it was such a gift to be witness to such a real process of loving.

home.

noticed the light. 

heaps | urban ore ecopark

remembering how inspired i was at this junk yard of reuseable goods... 
i have a fantastic idea that's only remained an idea since it's inception. i need to act!

 

 

ashland | daniel + stephie

when we went camping, i also took a few photos of these two lovelies. they're fantastic as a couple: honest, hilarious, and so loving.

 

chicago | light & leaves.

high sierra trail | day 5 | junction meadow to crabtree meadow

today's mileage: 8.9 miles


this section of trail brought a pretty significant change in the experience. we transitioned to the john muir trail where the traffic increased to seeing someone about once/hour, whereas in previous days, we saw 1-2 people/day. we also had to hit 11,000+ twice today which means we started the hike with a straight incline for a while, then down, then back up again. it was pretty rough. at one point i thought i was lost, so i yelled out my friends' names like a small child who's lost sight of their parent in a giant mall. they called back my name and a sense of relief came over me. then a bit later, while climbing to that second 11,000+ point, i sat down on a stone step, propped my head against my backpack (still on my back) and fell asleep. i was so tired that my body shut down to the soothing sound of a nearly silent forest and gentle breeze that swept over my body. it only lasted about 10 minutes before i awoke and then i somehow managed to pick myself up and slowly make my way to b, d, & m, who were waiting for me on some large rocks. i think we were all kinda pooped.


shortly after that long break, we made it to crabtree meadow... and seeing this open space brought the deep soul refreshment i needed. i felt like i was in montana. ;-)  plus, it was lovely to wash my crazy dirty toes in the icy river.

by the end of the day, i realized i was getting antsy, kind of bored, noticeably irritable, and feeling done. i was tired and coming to the end of me. i think there's also something about doing the same exact routine for 5 days in a row that was starting to wear me down. i'm not a routine kinda girl, so the monotony of cooking breakfast, packing up shop, hiking all day, eating lunch, getting washed up, setting up shop, sleeping, and repeating the cycle, that just got to me. even though everything we saw and experienced was unique to each day, this repetitive process stirred me up in a way i normally don't have to face.

i think paulo coelho said it well in a recent tweet: "if you think adventure is dangerous, try routine. it is lethal."  hahahah... of course i would resonate with that quote. 

anyway, i was in my tent before dark and fell asleep like a happy baby on an unfortunately slightly inclined spot. and we decided to sleep in the next day because the journey would only be 2.7 miles to our next camping spot before our day 7 trek up to the top of mount whitney. 

high sierra trail | day 1 | crescent meadow to bearpaw

after hiking 11.4 miles, we witnessed the sun leave it's soft print while setting into the valley. this experience set the tone for how this trip would be: exquisite. 

for more pics, check out the facebook album. 

high sierra trail | following

the light drew us awake

the path led us

to follow lively rivers

and forests of life and decay

up mountains with sheer drops

jumping from rock to rock that were

tango dancing with flowing snow

still lakes, valleys of magnificence

mountain tops capped by exquisite sunsets

the darkness called us to be still

it brought rest

and restlessness

the darkness freckled by a world of light

only to be seen 

as we went higher and higher

to gaze straight into her face

all these things seen

felt

experienced

touched

untouched

finally broke me.

all of the beauty

pain

suffering

awe

finally broke me.

all i could do was nod, "yes."

i noticed it when i looked up.

on tuesday, i sat outside in the back lot of my office to take a break from the waterfall of details i'm drenched in right now. after inhaling my my burrito (light on the rice and beans please), zanahorias curtidas and squirts of lime juice, i sat there, letting the sun's rays soak into my skin; i needed to slow down and breathe. it's been a busy work week, coupled with the details of preparing for a week-long backpacking trip in the wilderness - a duration i've never done before, and one that is causing a bit of humbling anxiety.


while sitting there breathing, i looked up and noticed these flowers. (you wouldn't know that i was surrounded by mostly concrete from the picture.) it was so beautiful that i stared for a while as i squinted to keep my gaze. then went back in to grab my camera. so simple & lovely in every way. 

quote | old inuit song

i think over again my small adventures 
my fears
those small ones that seemed so big


for all the vital things
i had to get and to reach
and yet there is only one great thing
the only thing


to live to see the great day that dawns
and the light that fills the world.


source: journeys of simplicity by philip harnden

montana | highlights, the visual version

i don't think i can use words to describe how i feel about these images. so here they are. beloved moments captured from my recent trip to montana - the second of many more...

flight from bozeman to ennis.

i just sat there and let susan push a plane with me in it.

rattlesnake.

the view wasn't too shabby.

walking home.

up close at home.

my room.

bare.

resting at the saddle. 

the high holy 4th of july parade in ennis

virginia city store.

yes.

o sweet jesus. this is one of my favorites.

virginia city post office.

candy making.

textures.

the making of a cake. german chocolate, to be exact

missed the fireworks, but got a bumpy ride instead.

thunderstorm + lightning.

breakfast in dell at calf-a.

red canyon road. yes please!

shop, set up.

prepared for the grizzlies. 

the sun rose.

we finally say hello.

by far, one of my favorites!

we watched everyday as she just sat there in all her majesty, drawing every good thing towards herself.