zero waste home adventures: let's talk about apparel

i'm embarrassed to tell you how much clothes/shoes/accessories i had before i moved here. good thing i didn't count it all. but to give you a sense of all the crap i excavated from every nook and cranny of my barn loft, here's what i donated on just one occasion of a clothes drop: 50 shirts, 3 jackets, 10 dresses, 12 shoes, 3 bags, 2 luggage bags.

i've said this before, but i prided myself in believing that i lived simply. but when push came to shove, the amount of stuff and waste i accumulated was - simply put - too much. so i got rid of possessions, over and over and over again until i finally came to a stall. too much of this iterative minimizing can cause a kind of mental constipation. it's an exhausting process. when i felt like the amount of apparel had been reduced enough, i packed it all up.

then i moved and counted everything before unpacking it. here's my current list of apparel:

• tops
• 10 casual shirts 
• 5 nice blouses/shirts/sweaters
• 4 tank tops
• 4 dresses
• 3 cardigans
• 3 sleepwear tops
• 2 half zip long sleeve pull overs
• 2 athletic tank tops
• 1 really ragged hoodie sweater (my favorite!)
• total: 34 tops

• bottoms
• 3 jeans
• 3 shorts
• 3 sleepwear bottoms
• 3 other pants
• 2 hiking pants
• 2 workout pants
• 2 running shorts 
• 2 long johns
• 1 snow pants
• 1 skirt
• total: 22 bottoms 

• jackets
• 1 waist length down jacket
• 1 half zip puffy
• 1 rain jacket (also doubles as my snow jacket for snow activities)
• 1 knee length down jacket
• 1 running shell
• 1 cycling shell
• 1 jean jacket
• total: 7 jackets

• intimates
• 12 underwear (i accidentally forgot underwear on a 3 day trip, so bought 2 extra. argh)
• 4 bras
• 3 lingerie
• 3 sports bras
• 1.5 bikini (two bottoms, one top)
• 1 slip
• total: 24.5 intimates

• shoes
• 2 brown leather boots
• 1 running/trail shoes
• 1 crocs
• 1 swing dance shoes
• 1 flip flops
• 1 snow boots
• 1 slippers
• total: 8 pairs of shoes

• accessories
• 10 pairs of socks
• 6 pairs of earrings
• 4 rings (including my wedding band)
• 2 belts
• 2 cold weather beanie/hats
• 2 gloves
• 3 scarves
• 1 bracelet
• 1 neck gaiter
• 1 sun hat
• 1 cap
• 1 messenger bag
• 1 "nice" bag
• 1 pair of sunglasses + case
• total: 36 accessories

• GRAND TOTAL: 132.5 apparel items

this is my first time adding it all up, and geez!! it seems like a lot. 

i'm surprised by: the number of jackets, pairs of socks, underwear, and shirts i own.

when you see this list, what surprises you? 

what's been really interesting to notice in this lifestyle experiment, is to see what i've actually been wearing these past three weeks. it's significantly more casual here in montana, it's actually winter, and my days sway more towards being ready for an adventure than going into an office. also, i haven't touched any of the spring/summer things like my skirt, shorts, and flip flops for obvious reasons. my hope is to get down to ≤100 items by my next culling. until then, hopefully subconsciously, i'll be able to let go of more of my "what if's."

slowly and surely...

big news: we're moving & i smell like dried sweat.

i've been avoiding this post for a while.

partly because i've been busy, but mostly because it makes the news so final.

right now, i'm sitting with an empty stomach after my final (and possibly most intense) 6am workout at crossfit palo alto. the damage is called "whitten" and i'll be paying for days. admittedly, it was a great way to end my 2.5 year stint with cfpa......wait, i'm digressing.

this is the post announcing that my husband and i are moving to ennis, montana.

but that's not all. we're not just moving to ennis in the dead of winter! that's just our first step. actually, we're spending 2014 creating a LOT of space to recover from one very intense year. and by "intense," i mean full of major life transition. there was the dying and death of my husband's mother, leaving my beloved workplace of six years, planning a wedding, marriage, and now preparing to move to another state. i'm tired. 

actually, i'm exhausted.

deep in my core, i know this is the right must thing to do. i just know it in my bones. but boy, it's been go go go non-stop to get to a place where we can finish well. 

for us, part of adjusting to being newly married includes a massive purge of our belongings. everything is up for question. our goal is to minimize our stuff down to one carload. (oh, we also sold both our cars and bought a used suv and affectionately named him "buddy." pics to eventually come.) besides a couple boxes of keepsakes per person, we're using inspiration from the 100 things challenge and zero waste home to guide our process of simplifying our lives. the hope with this experiment is that we can live a more thoughtful lifestyle by wasting less. we want to create more space for the really juicy stuff of life (people, experiences, imagination, creation, relishing nature, paying attention, relationships, values, Presence, being, whimsy...) by minimizing the distractions (artifacts that symbolize the "what if's," excessive amounts of clothes...basically, CRAP).

this process ebbs & flows between being emotionally draining and invigorating (mostly the former). it's not common practice for the typical north american household to minimize their belongings. however, it is common to live a life of accumulation. an extra water bottle here, another pair of cute boots there, craft supplies i never used but believed i must have in a moment of inspiration, booksbooksbooks, knicks & knacks. and i prided myself in living simply.... (major ego blow enters here.)

and then there are all those things i collected along the way that symbolize a story. a journey. an adventure. those tiny purple rocks i collected lakeside in glacier national park, that other little rock i carried out from the bob marshall wilderness, the feather i once found on the trail, the shiny yellow rock that stood out among its peers on my first solo backpacking trip.... those things remind me of my fear, and the courage to overcome them. how do i get rid of those things? or do i? (i still haven't decided on those yet.)

for now, all i know is that we're having a massive load of stuff picked up tonight. and the next day, there will still be more to sift through. but with each day, we get closer to a life of material freedom.

we're taking it one day at a time, until we reach the morning of january 1st, 2014 when we hug our dear friends farewell and look at our home one last time before we begin our journey onward.

ps. it's almost 2pm as i wrap this up. and yes, i really do smell like dried sweat. 

quote | listen

A starting point for hearing God's invitation to action is learning to listen with the ear of our heart as Benedict instructs. Words from the media, colleagues, and our mailboxes bombard us; an endless number of billboards assaults us along our highways. Sometimes we pay attention to what is spoken from the pulpit, but often our worship services are so busy and full of words that they have little effect. We need to give some time simply to being in the presence of the created universe with no other purpose than to attend to what is there. Listening to the voice of nature will help us attune ourselves to the words of God spoken in silence to the deep places of our being.
-Elizabeth Canham

clearing things out | free books!

i'm constantly noticing things that i don't use, that take up space, that i don't need anymore, i could do without, etc etc. you get the point.


so i'm gonna try something new that i'm calling clearing things out. it's me offering my stuff to the internet to see who wants it. you just need to let me know that you want it via comment & i'll mail it to you, hand deliver it (depending on where you stay), or maybe we can even meet halfway! 


to start this off, i noticed i have a few brand new books that i thought i would read, but am positive i never will. if you want any of these books, leave a note with a creative idea for how you'd want the book delivered + book title of your choice + a way to contact you.


i'll probably pick the ideas that make me laugh out loud. and if that wasn't explicit enough...i really.really like things that make me laugh. 


THE BOOKS.
the net delusion : evgeny morozov
is the internet changing the way you think? : edited by john brockman
where good ideas come from : steven johnson
the upside of irrationality : dan ariely


*i'd like to offer some commentary on each, but that usually only works when i've read the book.

things can get a little

too big sometimes.

especially numbers.
# of facebook friends i don't actually know.
# of twitter followers i don't know.
# of dollars in our national debt.
# of dollars i owe for a ticket. (eek)
# of things i must do.
# of things i want to do.
# of things on my wall.
# of boxes i need to go through.
# of days before i move.
# of hours i'm on a computer.

i want to simplify. more and more and more. until it is less.

on food consumption

i've been thinking a lot about food consumption recently.

if you know me, you know i LOVE food.

i love it.
i love it.
i love it (!)

but, i know that i indulge in ways that i don't need to, especially when considering the needs of all the people in this world. and yet, when i let my belly (aka "baby") get to the point of sheer hunger, i get so self-focused that i can only think about getting something into my mouth. i can't even concentrate on a conversation. (and that concerns me).

my point is that my relationship to food is often evolving. it went from an unhealthy relationship of overconsumption to what i believe is a much more understanding friendship. and as i've observed and talked to people about eating (and choices they make around eating), it's clear to me that most people have somewhat of a dysfunctional relationship or miseducated view of food. me included.

it's not just about food though; it's about holistic health.

there is a disconnect between mind.body.heart.soul. there's a hurt. there's something painful that food has become the medicine for. whether it be a small alleviation of an emotional sadness or a major means of avoidance and denial, food seems to be a source of pseudo healing.

what's scarier is that it doesn't just happen on an individual level; it also happens on a corporate level. and that's where "more developed" countries - especially the U.S. - literally starve others in this world. ... ..in the pursuit of alleviating whatever hurt it is we're feeling, greed, power....etc. and as a sad result, we here die of obesity (and related diseases) while others die of malnutrition and hunger. what does this say about us?

i've been thinking more about food consumption because of a couple reasons:
A) I'm wrestling with what it means to live in abundance amid a hungry world.
B) I'm trying to consume more protein, and this has raised questions of my meat intake.
C) I'm trying to live simply; and that for me, ties in with not just how i live, but also how i eat.

and asking myself a few questions:
how do i find a balance of getting the nutrients i need and incorporating redistributing nutrients that my global (and local) neighbors need?
what role will i take?
how do i get creative with how and what i eat?
how might i support local growers w/o maxing out my budget?
what in my heart needs to change, to gain clearer perspective and to respond to the need?
what does it look like to authentically love people in this context?