we got rid of so much crap it was ridiculous. reducing our combined lives down to one (rather large, but still) carload was an enormous task. packing to settle into a new home with the notion that we might become nomadic was not easy. and i know i wasn't the easiest person to deal with when i'd look sharply at your stuff and say, "uhh...are you gonna get rid of that?" with my loving and non-judgmental tone of voice. or when i stood between the dining room and kitchen looking at our giant mass of kitchen/food boxes and broke down. "there's just too much stuff! i'm overwhelmed." you hugged me, as you often do, and let me be me.
we said goodbye to our families through thanksgiving and christmas, goodbye to our friends over and over, and goodbye to a life that treated us extremely well. it was heartbreaking to leave behind something so good, but i know i'd never regret having chosen this new life with you.
you've seen me more vividly this month. in the form of weeping over and over, the joy of driving towards our destination (the place that's captured my heart: montana), my attitudiness because i really need to get out and roam but i've been inside all day, in my ocd zero waste endeavors, ...
but when i look back on this past month, i'm filled with gratitude towards you. you were on board to reduce your life down to boxes and move to a state you've never been to. and you've been open. really open. to being here, discovering ennis, learning about montana/beef jerky/ribs/setting up the hot tub/fixing/cleaning/writing/cooking/thisthatthisthat.
you've been encouraging to me, asking about what i might need, if i've started making plans for my biz idea, etc. you've been kind to say good morning __(insert some term of endearment)__ every day, to come upstairs to tell me about new discoveries or just to say hi, to take care of so many of the various needs here like bringing in wood pellets almost every day! you've been so patient with all of my looks and words of judgement (sorry!), my ocd tendencies, my desires to wander or randomly drive down some road.
a few memories that stick out to me:
- when you held me as we lay together on the red couch. i felt so much love towards your kind and loving heart that tears streamed down my face.
- when we finally hit montana!!!!
sayingweeping goodbye to heather, steve, ian, matt, and mary on the morning of 1/1/14. wow.
- reflection time at philz on 12/31/13
- your eagerness to make beef jerky
- that nasty trash smell that we endured to/from bozeman. we certainly learned our lesson.
- discovering how awesome the ennis library is!
- finally arriving at our new home. (still makes me sigh in relief...)
it's hard to believe that it's been only a month since the last letter. damn. it's been a good month.
i love you with all my heart my love (even if you look sickly).