gratitude jar | a year later.

i started a gratitude jar back in july 2011. it's like tweeting into a jar with the sole focus of practicing gratitude.

when i first began, i admit i had to think pretty hard about what i was grateful for that day. but every day i practiced this ritual, i noticed it became easier to identify one thing. at some point, the 1"x4" pieces of paper felt limiting because there were so many events/people/interactions that i wanted to acknowledge at the end of the day. 

but let me tell you, i was surprised that i could even do anything every single day for an entire year! (i'm sort of non-committal in that way.) but here are a few reasons why i think it's become a daily part of my life:

• it was simple. wrote down just one thing i was grateful for that day. didn't have to be the most significant, most important, most whatever...just one thing.
• limited parameters. because i only had a limited amount of space to write, i knew it wasn't a big commitment of time - maybe only 30 seconds! that comes down to 182 minutes (or 3 hours) total time spent for the entire year. 
• barriers were removed. the paper was cut, the pen was always there, and i left the jar unscrewed, so i didn't even have to twist it on or off. (i can be super lazy about certain things.)
• created a ritual. i wrote down my one thing right before i jumped into bed. it became part of my night time ritual after flossing, brushing my teeth, & washing my feet. (yes, i wash my feet every night!)

if brene brown is right about gratitude and joy being inextricably linked, then this three hour commitment was by far one of the best investments i could've made this past year. joy certainly abounds!

gratitude jar | 3 more months to go.

last july, i started a gratitude jar. it has been one of the best practices i've taken on. it genuinely increases my level of joy. i remember when i started it, my intention was to write down just one thing each day. turns out, i can cram a lot of words on those tiny pieces of paper.


i have so much to be grateful for each day! and you know what i've observed? my gratitude is deeply rooted in people, people, people. and as my gratitude has increased, i'm certain that i've become a more joyful person.

ps. the picture was taken back in november. the jar is significantly more full today.

1.1.12

it was...
to stay in the heart break, anger, and sorrow until i could finally move through it.
to stay crying when i couldn't stop.
to stay with my friends, as they worked through the intensity and hardship of being in marriage relationship.
to stay in one place, and not think about moving on to the next grand adventure.
to stay with the depression of not being able to run after being injured.
to stay in the physical pains.
to stay home, instead of wandering away for another weekend.
to stay with a tedious project i would rather not do.
to stay present to all of it.
to stay engaged.


it's clear to me that i experienced staying to be in the context of some discomfort. this makes complete sense to me since i don't like to be in uncomfortable situations. but what took me by surprise was that i actually have a harder time staying with the feeling of joy. 


because when life was as good as it's been this year, i convinced my mind that it's easier to imagine that what is good, would come to an end. in the latter part of this year, i found myself imagining tragic scenarios unfolding while driving home, riding my bike, running, walking, sitting, lying like a vegetable -- anything really. i felt less vulnerable this way.


"joy is as thorny and sharp as any of the dark emotions. to love someone fiercely, to believe in something with your whole heart, to celebrate a fleeting moment in time, to fully engage in a life that doesn't come with guarantees - these are risks that involve vulnerability and often pain. when we lose our tolerance for discomfort, we lose joy." -brene brown, the gifts of imperfection


"until we can tolerate vulnerability and transform it into gratitude, intense feelings of love will often bring up the fear or loss." -brene brown, the gifts of imperfection


but...


"joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are." -marianne williamson


a year ago today, when i wrote about the then unknown theme of stay, i didn't know that when i stayed in all of it: the muck, the delight, the sorrow, the thrill, the happiness, the ordinary... that i would find a deeper capacity for sorrow, gratitude and joy, and therefore a deeper connection with people and with God. 


it's been a profound year of growth. and i look forward to another year of expansion. another year of staying. i hope the same for you too. 


*a dear friend also wrote about her 2011 reflections, and i would highly recommend giving it a read. her honesty and vulnerability are moving. 

joyful thanksgiving!

as you give thanks, hope it's filled with joy!

29 | surprise!!!!

i am generally pretty low key about my birthday. (well, maybe except for my sweet 16th when i had fliers made, a dj, and a bunch of people - many whom i barely knew - at my house for a full on dance party. but that was another life ago.) this year, i had planned on going to work, having a quiet dinner with heather, and going to rehearsal. easy peasy. 

in fact, i woke up feeling kinda sick and wondered if i should work from home that day. but my manager, richard, had put a hold on my calendar from 10-2pm to have a generative conversation about ux/ui design for a website. i was really looking forward to that meeting, so got myself together and showed up. 

10am rolls around and i don't know where richard is. i head over to the zamzee office and receive a spontaneous happy birthday song, and find out that richard's not there. in fact, lance (who was also supposed to be part of this meeting) says, "i don't have that on my calendar, and neither does richard." my face contorts. i'm confused. 

i head back to hopelab, and richard rolls over to my cube and asks me to hold put until 11 when he'd be done with his meeting. "well, chris and i were going to get tea...is it okay that i come back by 11?" richard's face stalls and he hesitantly says, "uh yeah, i think that'd be fine." i'm confused.

i go to chris' office to say that i only have about 30 minutes to grab some tea, but ask if he'd still like to. he doesn't really respond. hahahaha. he wishes me happy birthday and hands me a gift. i open it and LOVE it. the gift is so him -- oozing thoughtfulness and creativity!  anyway, while i'm sitting there, heather shows up holding up a large sign that says, "are you thankful for lizzy? of course you are!" (that has georgia mae's beautiful artwork all over it!) while shouting those words and blowing a birthday horn. oh! and pulling a garden wagon with a tree in it!!

shock. 

continued shock...

anyway, my friends/colleagues were encouraged to write something they're thankful for about me on clear ornaments with a white sharpie, and then to hang it on my new tree! (which, i might add is a very resilient tree - a characteristic that heather heeded to mention several times, perhaps subconsciously since i managed to kill a japanese maple earlier this year.) eep. :\

after all of the office shenanigans, heather whisked me away to get a pedicure and to eat lunch. we walked around downtown redwood city with happy birthday crowns on our heads, while a small yellow cloud of balloons followed every step. hehe, we also brought joy to people who cared to stare. :-) 

the day was sheer delight! every part of my birthday was perfect - spontaneous, unexpected, meaningful, fun!, & quite peaceful. the gift of being surrounded by people i love and who love me, is better than anything i could've hope for.

i am so grateful for this amazing life i've been given. truly, i have been experiencing a transcendent joy, bringing me right into the heart of Love. 

thank you everyone. 

in particular, thank you richard for using your boss rights to place a fake 4-hour meeting in my calendar & thinking quickly on your feet! ;-) and thank you heather for knowing me so well, for loving me so well. i can't imagine my life without your friendship. 

gratitude jar.

i started something new. it's called a gratitude jar and it was inspired by my friend gyu-hee who's updating her facebook status everyday with something she's thankful for that day. i want to do the same thing, except with pen & paper.

why?

1. i found these two glass jars in a consignment store in montana and want to put it to better use than to make my place seem more cute & rustic.

2. i want to increase joy in my life (and gratitude & joy are intimately linked).

3. i'd like to invite my friends who come visit to practice this too. 

in a year, i should have a jar full of gratitude and hopefully a more joy-full spirit. 

perhaps you can try it too! all you need is a few pieces of paper (cut up into small pieces), a pen, something to hold those two things, and a jar to place the notes in. easy. 

here's to more joy!

xo

friday morning thots 3.18.11

i want to collaborate on a creative project with unexpected, disparate, inspiring people.

get the people in a room...and see what emerges.

--

the past two days, everything seems exquisite.

--

the softness of hairless legs + my pajama bottoms.

you know it -- it's simply, exquisite.

--

our bodies know exactly what it needs. just listen.

this week, i needed lots of protein & iron.

kale, citrus, quinoa, spinach, lentils, eggs...

my body's grateful.

i know it because it told me so.

--

i'm such a procrastinator. i own it.

in fact, i'm procrastinating right now!

--

inspired by brene brown these days.

& reading her book, the gift of imperfection.

'until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart.'

-b.brown

--

joy really does exist hand-in-hand with gratitude.

--

been getting a lot of soul-ful, bear-like, monster hugs these days. i lovelovelove the heart-to-heart contact. mm...

i miss...

running.

i've been off running for a while now because i have this incredibly stubborn case of plantar fasciitis in my right foot. it flared before i fractured my foot last september, and the condition fluctuates daily. sometimes, with just normal use i'll feel pain at the end of the day.

during a staff meeting today, we talked about what brings us joy. the first thing that came to mind was how i feel immediately after a long trail run (the ones that last between 2-4 hours). the culmination of being fully engaged in mind, body, heart, engulfed in nature, staying utterly present, challenging myself, exhausting everything i have, and "finishing," results in this electrifying experience of joy. it doesn't have to be running, but do you know what i mean??

last week, i even dreamt that i was given this task to run. i had to run laps around the tiniest loop like a mad lady running around in circles in someone's house (that's actually what i did in the dream.) it was mindless, easy, and boring, but i was so freaking happy because i got to run. in my dream, my body was without injury. i hope that one day soon i can run like i ran in my dream, in the presence of exquisite mountain landscapes.

i miss running.