in remembrance of 2014.

last fall, i remember thinking..."oh my gosh, what did i do with this past year!?" it wasn't a a question of curiosity, it was a question stained with judgement about how i spent my time. so i responded by making a list of everything i experienced in 2014 and categorized them. (ahh, i love organization!)

but this list isn't about saying, "hey, look at me!" it's about reflecting on a full year and feeling deep gratitude. it's about remembering that although i had a lot of fun experiences, it was in the loneliness of living in rural montana that i began to truly treasure community. it's about looking back in order to shape how i move forward.

and wowwowwow, do i feel grateful!!

adventures

• biked from canada to mexico with samuel
• backpacking to cedar lake (montana)
• backpacked the teton crest trail with mary and samuel (wyoming)
• hiked all over the madison valley
• summited sphinx mountain (montana)
• road trip to banff & jasper national parks (canada)
• jumping into glacially cold leigh lake (only for a moment, but a lifetime of cold)
• horseback riding with mel (montana)
• this extrovert having to navigate isolation! 

travels

• USA: el paso, texas
• USA: all over western montana 
• N.AMERICA: canada to mexico (bike)
• USA: seattle > portland > bend > shasta > sf/bay (train)
• FRANCE: la havre > fougeres > ile-aux-moines > paris
• USA: jackson hole, wyoming
• USA: catalina 
• USA: la > san diego 

first time experiences

• our first real winter
• ice fishing
• dog sledding
• walked on a frozen lake
• got our car stuck in snow in the middle of nowhere (and had to get rescued)
• first snow-related car accident 
• my coldest day ever at -29 degrees
• my first log sawing competition
• skiing at bridger bowl, whitefish resort, snowbowl, discovery ski
• snowcoaching in yellowstone national park
• shooting a handgun and a (serious looking) rifle
• "helped" ranchers with cattle sorting (translation: i just tried to stay on my horse and not cause trouble.) 
• cattle branding
• lassoed my first calf!
• biking in yellowstone (twice)
• a rural duathlon (bike/run)
• hired a coach
• met william devane
• horse pack trip in the backcountry with people i had never met (except for one person)
• attended a french wedding
• an overwhelming allergy attack in the backcountry 
• attacked by a grouse
• a chuck wagon dinner
• ate moose, elk, and deer
• designed a founder's retreat agenda for a bay area start-up
• joined a food co-op

new skills (also all first time experiences)

• skiing
• snowshoeing 
• cross country skiing
• mountain biking
• baking bread and bagels from scratch
• making yogurt and granola
• making kimchi (and other korean dishes)
• brewing kick-you-awake pour over coffee
• water coloring
• resolving conflict with husband

animals i saw

• saw my first grizzly (in captivity)
• bison
• moose
• elk
• wolf
• deer
• white tailed deer
• pronghorn antelope
• bighorn sheep
• mountain goats
• bald eagles
• mountain blue birds
• magpies
• osprey
• golden eagles
• grouse
• rocky mountain sheep
• scottish highland cattle (my absolute favorite kinda cow!)

lifestyle experiments

• reduced our life down to one car load, then slowly acquire what we needed for our new place
• lived in my first rural town
• completed artist's way
• experiment: 30 days of drinking 3L of water/day
• zero waste living (still pursuing)

passion pursuits 

• got certified in wilderness first aid and cpr
• started building a website to make wilderness backpacking simple for women
• conducted user research interviews for said website
• created a website for a bed & breakfast

choices made toward finding home

• moved to ennis, montana on jan 1, 2014
• moved to missoula, montana on oct 6, 2014
• got a new drivers license for the state of montana
• apartment hunting for three intensive days in missoula and found one

watched

• joy & billy get married
• zack & sarah get married
• jb & nino get married
• my husband officiate his first wedding
• all seasons of friday night lights and scandal in a relatively short period of time. (aka: binging!)

we hosted

• messengers x2
• mary chang
• the first (and only) instameet in ennis, mt
• sister alice
• candice & matt 
• six bike tourists in a span of seven days
• my sister, lily, lydia, and mom
• a neighborly get together in our new town
• jenny morgan

we were hosted by

• the messengers (stevensville)
• the kims x2 (san diego)
• the chois (la)
• paula (france)
• torea & jeremy (sunnyvale)
• mary chang (menlo park)
• mary carrera (san jose)
• my momma (la)
• chris murchison (sf)
• all the amazing people during our pacific coast bike tour

new(ish) relationships formed

• judy
• the noacks
• mel
• the jarvis'
• the maccalls
• the lewtons
• m&m
• the messengers
• folks from our church
• vlad
• brian/ollie
• craig & melissa

and ordinary things

• got my annual dental check-up
• ate almost all my meals with my husband (that's about 1000 meals!)
• took dozens & dozens & dozens of naps
• spent countless days in my pajamas

you can see some pics from this year here.

gratitude jar | 3 more months to go.

last july, i started a gratitude jar. it has been one of the best practices i've taken on. it genuinely increases my level of joy. i remember when i started it, my intention was to write down just one thing each day. turns out, i can cram a lot of words on those tiny pieces of paper.


i have so much to be grateful for each day! and you know what i've observed? my gratitude is deeply rooted in people, people, people. and as my gratitude has increased, i'm certain that i've become a more joyful person.

ps. the picture was taken back in november. the jar is significantly more full today.

havasupai | composting toilets

i held my breath, believing the smell would be rancid in there. you see, i have this technique of sparingly breathing with my mouth in any non-flushing toilet scenario. or, in a dire situation when i'm feeling desperate, i allow one deep (nose-)breath in through some article of clothing to help diffuse the stench.

like most normal people, i'm not a fan of the the stank of our collective shit. but it all changed after i experienced the composting toilets at havasupai. seriously. as magnificent as the waterfalls were, i can honestly say that i was nearly equally impressed by the toilets.


prior to the trip, i was reminded of the composting toilets in the grand canyon during the peak of summer when....am i grossing you out yet?....well, when the human waste was baking in the high desert heat. i remember feeling like even breathing through my mouth would be a violation to my human dignity. after that single use, the smell latched on to the fibers of my clothes so that i couldn't even run away from it. it.was.disgusting.


here's what made havasupai's composting toilets so fantastic: 
one) it was in a clean space. 
two) our duty was to drop one scoop of sawdust into the toilet. 
three) it didn't smell. at all!!! 
four) i felt like a lil hamster after every use. 

rad.

joyful thanksgiving!

as you give thanks, hope it's filled with joy!

29 | surprise!!!!

i am generally pretty low key about my birthday. (well, maybe except for my sweet 16th when i had fliers made, a dj, and a bunch of people - many whom i barely knew - at my house for a full on dance party. but that was another life ago.) this year, i had planned on going to work, having a quiet dinner with heather, and going to rehearsal. easy peasy. 

in fact, i woke up feeling kinda sick and wondered if i should work from home that day. but my manager, richard, had put a hold on my calendar from 10-2pm to have a generative conversation about ux/ui design for a website. i was really looking forward to that meeting, so got myself together and showed up. 

10am rolls around and i don't know where richard is. i head over to the zamzee office and receive a spontaneous happy birthday song, and find out that richard's not there. in fact, lance (who was also supposed to be part of this meeting) says, "i don't have that on my calendar, and neither does richard." my face contorts. i'm confused. 

i head back to hopelab, and richard rolls over to my cube and asks me to hold put until 11 when he'd be done with his meeting. "well, chris and i were going to get tea...is it okay that i come back by 11?" richard's face stalls and he hesitantly says, "uh yeah, i think that'd be fine." i'm confused.

i go to chris' office to say that i only have about 30 minutes to grab some tea, but ask if he'd still like to. he doesn't really respond. hahahaha. he wishes me happy birthday and hands me a gift. i open it and LOVE it. the gift is so him -- oozing thoughtfulness and creativity!  anyway, while i'm sitting there, heather shows up holding up a large sign that says, "are you thankful for lizzy? of course you are!" (that has georgia mae's beautiful artwork all over it!) while shouting those words and blowing a birthday horn. oh! and pulling a garden wagon with a tree in it!!

shock. 

continued shock...

anyway, my friends/colleagues were encouraged to write something they're thankful for about me on clear ornaments with a white sharpie, and then to hang it on my new tree! (which, i might add is a very resilient tree - a characteristic that heather heeded to mention several times, perhaps subconsciously since i managed to kill a japanese maple earlier this year.) eep. :\

after all of the office shenanigans, heather whisked me away to get a pedicure and to eat lunch. we walked around downtown redwood city with happy birthday crowns on our heads, while a small yellow cloud of balloons followed every step. hehe, we also brought joy to people who cared to stare. :-) 

the day was sheer delight! every part of my birthday was perfect - spontaneous, unexpected, meaningful, fun!, & quite peaceful. the gift of being surrounded by people i love and who love me, is better than anything i could've hope for.

i am so grateful for this amazing life i've been given. truly, i have been experiencing a transcendent joy, bringing me right into the heart of Love. 

thank you everyone. 

in particular, thank you richard for using your boss rights to place a fake 4-hour meeting in my calendar & thinking quickly on your feet! ;-) and thank you heather for knowing me so well, for loving me so well. i can't imagine my life without your friendship. 

gratitude jar.

i started something new. it's called a gratitude jar and it was inspired by my friend gyu-hee who's updating her facebook status everyday with something she's thankful for that day. i want to do the same thing, except with pen & paper.

why?

1. i found these two glass jars in a consignment store in montana and want to put it to better use than to make my place seem more cute & rustic.

2. i want to increase joy in my life (and gratitude & joy are intimately linked).

3. i'd like to invite my friends who come visit to practice this too. 

in a year, i should have a jar full of gratitude and hopefully a more joy-full spirit. 

perhaps you can try it too! all you need is a few pieces of paper (cut up into small pieces), a pen, something to hold those two things, and a jar to place the notes in. easy. 

here's to more joy!

xo

a collection.

grateful for the chickens, and what they are capable of birthing. 
it's remarkable that they produce an egg every day! 

friday morning thots 4.22.11

this week has been believably unbelievable. 
i am so full & grateful.


now i need some of this. 

friday morning thots 2/11/11

i woke up in 2005.

there was a catalytic moment that sparked a desire - no, more like a desperation - to change.

six years later, i'm sitting here in the most beautiful space (physical & internal)...grateful.

really really grateful. i feel as though i'm finally getting more comfortable in my skin, accepting every part of me, not just the good stuff or an exaggerated emphasis on the bad stuff.

....

i'm spending the day to be in this accepting space, reflect on this journey that i've been on, and sort through photographs i've taken over the past three years that capture this process. i'm working on a special project that i hope to share with y'all this spring.

...

on a side note, i've been listening to this song by james vincent mcmorrow called "and if my heart should somehow stop" all week on repeat (call me obsessive). might you take a moment to check out his website and if you feel compelled, support his work?

joyous friday-ing friends.