quote | to be a full human being

It costs so much to be a full human being that there are very few who have the enlightenment or the courage to pay the price.... One has to abandon altogether the search for security, and reach out to the risk of living with both arms. One has to embrace the world like a lover. One has to accept pain as a condition of existence. One has to court doubt and darkness as the cost of knowing. One needs a will stubborn in conflict, but apt always to total acceptance of every consequence of living and dying.
-morris west

quote | to give and receive with gladness

To be a saint is to live not with hands clenched to grasp, to strike, to hold tight to a life that is always slipping away the more tightly we hold it; but it is to live with the hands stretched out both to give and to receive with gladness. To be a saint is to work and weep for the broken and suffering of the world, but it is also to be strangely light of heart in the knowledge that there is something greater than the world that mends and renews.

-Frederick Buechner

quote | the new community

we can too easily become identified with goodness--feel that we are 'the enlightened ones.' we cease to ask questions about what we are doing, how we are doing it, whether it might be done another way. not only must we question ourselves; we must create the kind of atmosphere that invites others to question us and to give us feedback on how they perceive and hear and experience us.
-elizabeth o'conner


sometimes, i think this means directly inviting people to give us feedback about: the decisions we make, how we spend our money, who we spend our time with, how we spend that time, the passions they see that we're dampening or ignoring, the work that brings us to life or the work that's killing us slowly, patterns they notice (healthy and unhealthy)... there's a lot to list. 


most people don't feel okay offering unsolicited feedback. so until we're able to exude the kind of openness that welcomes it, i think it'd serve us to hand-pick a few special folks who we trust and who love us and to ask them to speak into our lives. 


i specifically point out the "who love us" characteristic because i believe those are the people who will speak the truth, as they see it & as harsh as it may be. love, the great motivator, will allow & foster space for candor, grace, kindness, empathy, openness. 


who are the people in your life that speak into it?

high sierra trail | day 6 | crabtree meadow to guitar lake

today's mileage: 2.7 miles


we woke up when we woke up, ate a slow breakfast, lounged around, and then finally made our way to guitar lake. it was our recovery day before mount whitney, but i didn't feel recovered. the tiredness just sank in, and i realized today that the final day would be really really hard. 


this pic was inside my tent when i went back in for a mid-morning lounge around. (someone eerily watched from outside.)  o_O

about a mile in, i met scott & alisa (dad/daughter hikers) and we chatted for a lengthy period of time. it was lovely to meet new folks and to have an extended conversation. plus, when i offered alisa my what-i-now-considered-repulsive trail mix, she practically inhaled them. lol. it's amazing how other people's food looked SO much yummier then my own. she clearly concurred. ;-)

 

a few memorable moments from the lake:

• getting to know scott & alisa over dinner. (they decided to camp with us that night and hike with us the next morning.)
• sun setting into the mountain range.
• dropping my camera on a rock --> cute boy from d.c. helped me get the jammed filter off the lens. hehe ;-)
• looking at disbelief at the mountain we were going to climb at 4am in just a few short hours.

quote | the cost

"It costs so much to be a full human being that there are very few who have the enlightenment or the courage to pay the price. One has to abandon altogether the search for security and reach out to the risk of living with both arms open. One has to embrace the world like a lover. One has to accept pain as a condition of existence." - Morris West
Source: quoted at herondance.org


what does it look like to "embrace the world like a lover?"

sometimes

my fists clench tight
and i want so desperately to control
what i can't control. 


today, i stared at my hands
palms up
open
& prayed god would help me
release control
and to accept all, as is.


my desire today is for
my heart & mind to hold that open posture.
and that courage and compassion would help me
release my clenched fists
over & over again.