on longing.

it has not been easy to watch people run, as i've been waiting for my leg(s) to heal from nasty shin splints. it's been 2 weeks since i saw my doc, when she recommended that i stop running for at least 2 weeks. apparently, i overdid it. (um, i think my 5 mile run + 26 miles cycling one day, and next day 9 mile run pushed my already injured legs over the edge). -- guilty, i know.

tomorrow will be exactly 2 weeks since i was forced to stop b/c of some excruciating pain.
pain & waiting. ugh. (or "ugh" reordered = hug. cute.)

these past couple weeks of not running have opened me up to a couple things:

longing.
learning.
& pain.


on longing.
to long. to wait. to love. all...i believe are the same.
to long is to love.
to wait is to love.
to love is to long. (you get the point).

i don't know if you know. but i hated running before i started last sept. but it's transformed into a love relationship. i now love running, but more, i love what happens when i run. my heart, mind, spirit, & body connect. they sync up in a powerful way and it releases me to be fully engaged. in turn, i can be fully me. running makes me a more honest person. forget the pretenses...i am who i am and i love it.

on learning.
i started swimming.

here's a story: one summer during junior high, i swam so much, my hair turned incredibly light brown with blond streaks. i had become part fish (and apparently, part white).

but, my fins are now gone, i'm fully korean again, and my love for swimming eventually got denied and with the awkwardness and dislike of my changing body that comes as a young pubescent girl. that feeling never really went away. but now, i say...what the hey! hey! so i'm back in the pool and loving it! my form is not so good and my swimming economy seems unjust (much like the US), but I hope to bring change (much like Obama). ;-)

no, i won't be posting any pics of me swimming anytime (ever), but mm... would you want to see my cool-dorky goggles? and i KNOW i look like a big dork-a-tron. next up is a swimming cap. (at least i'll look the part, even if i can't play it).

on pain.
listen to your body. when it tells you it's hurting, there's a reason for it. our body's are beautiful, intelligent, and amazing. it's smarter than our mind's might like to think and convincing oneself that "the pain is ok" is a foolish thing. take it from this foolish girl that pounded away and could barely walk before finally pausing and considering that i might be seriously injured.

so why would you want to know any, or all, of this anyway?
because! tomorrow... i'm running for the first time in 2 weeks. a light 3 mile run on dirt. that's what i'm hoping for. i know it will be just as it should be - rainy, muddy, & perfect.

my heart is glad. <3