month 9: over and over again.

my love,

we were on our bike tour during month eight, and although i had the best of intentions to write you a letter on my little iphone late at night while you were sleeping, sleep overcame my intentions and instead, i passed out after our ride from santa cruz to vets memorial park (day 32, i think). i like to believe my month 8 love letter was more live love letter from pedal to pedal. you get me? 

but what i would've told you was how much i admire how your love is new every morning. it's as if going to sleep fills your cup and (lucky me) it overflows into my life. i've been really touched by experiencing this part of you over and over. 

it's hard to believe nine months have already passed since we wed. let me recap (for my sake) what's transpired since we said i do. we pared down all of our combined belongings into one car, left the bay area and moved to montana in the dead of winter, we did the artist's way, learned to ski (me, just barely), made some new friends, entertained old friends in our new place, you learned how to bake and cook!, we went zero waste, learned to communicate with each other (and still learning), biked from canada to mexico, hiked up our drama queen sphinx, and a lot of wonderful little things along the way. oh, and i ate from the biggest pizza i've ever seen and you weren't there to participate! how ironic. 

we've seen each other at our best and at our worst these last two months and i feel like i've learned more about you than i ever have to date: when you need to recharge alone, what ticks you off, what energizes you, your totally weird quirks like saying "missoula" a thousand times in that accent of yours, the way you put me first, your flexibility and adaptability... 

i've seen you go from hesitating to put your needs out there, to being clear and open as you make your needs known. i've seen you go from being (or, complaining) in pain from cycling day in and day out to riding really strong for 92 miles! i've literally witnessed your confidence grow where once you slowly held your brakes all the way down a steep windy hill to taking them head on. and i've seen you transition from "i want to explore writing" to calling yourself a writer.

(remember this? you were blazing down this hill!)

you, samuel, have impressed me with your determination, your willpower and your loving softness of heart. i cannot be more grateful than i am now, to have a life partner in you.

what's next?!

!!!,
your buttercup