month 4: settling in

ohlove, 

it's wild to think that we've been in montana now for over five weeks, isn't it? and at the same time, it isn't. i remember when we first got here, sheri asked if you were in love with it. you sharply responded with a dismal, "i need more time to determine an opinion." this response was after witnessing the brilliance of the madison valley and being in such a wonderful home for several days. how much more time did you need to fall in love?! it makes me laugh now thinking about this interaction. 

one, because i'm reminded again of how utterly different you and i are, and 
two, because it wasn't anything i could do to convince you to love this place. 

montana will do as it wills. and i can see now that she has slowly persuaded you with her silencing snowfall, piercing peaks, dramatic skies, and her pace. montana is a beauty to behold and you have opened yourself to be seized by her presence, as she has done with me.

we still have little idea of what's unfolding during this year off, but i trust that what's unfolding is better than what we could've dreamt up ourselves. and i'm just glad that we're in it together, especially while cuddling. : ) 

there were a few things i want to remember about this month:

• you said that it seems more likely that we'll be settling down in montana. this totally caught me by surprise and made my heart squeal in glee and fear! (the non-committal part of me is freaked out because i know you don't say things lightly.)
• having the messengers over to romp around in the woods, and then to see those amazing photos they took. wow.
• skiing with you and watching how you just go for those gnarly hills that i've been avoiding. WOW! it's totally inspired me to take more risks on the slopes. 
• you started your blog. i'm so proud of you for putting yourself out there!
• that conflict we had where you lovingly called me out on my shit. it's true, i was being controlling and not creating a space for you to relax and thrive. instead, i was running you over and i don't want to do that. o love... 
• the time you drove us into a snow ditch and we got to witness the miracle of over a dozen angels come and help us out. (and of course, our new spear: courtesy of the metal post we managed to rip in half.)
• our commitment to the artist's way. i'm so grateful that you're enjoying the process and that we've created a sacred space for our creativity to emerge. i'm grateful for a partner in this journey.
• the day you just held me as i cried and cried and cried because i was feeling so lonely. how loving of you to simply be with me through that.

rar!

-your baby dragon

ps. i love you.