quote | the wilderness way.

The wilderness is not just a desert through which we wandered for forty years. It is a way of being. A place that demands being open to the flow of life around you. A place that demands being honest with yourself without regard to the cost in personal anxiety. A place that demands being present with all of yourself.

In the wilderness your possessions cannot surround you. Your preconceptions cannot protect you. Your logic cannot promise you the future. Your guilt can no longer place you safely in the past. You are left alone each day with an immediacy that astonishes, chastens and exults. You see the world as if for the first time.

-Lawrence Kushner

ashland | hyatt lake sunset

completely enthralled by ashland, oregon. i am so utterly taken by this weekend's trip because of stuff like this:

high sierra trail | day 3 | kaweah gap to maurine lake

the arroyo valley, surrounded by the great continental divide, was by far one of the most exquisite hikes i have done. my breath was stolen by its great beauty. and mo lake was such a pleasant surprise to arrive to. 

today's mileage: 12 miles. 

for more pics, check out the facebook album.

high sierra trail | question certainty

before i left for the sierras, i made a comment about a certain photo of a women wearing her bikini on top of mount whitney. i said (rather judgmentally) that i "certainly won't be wearing my bikini when i summit." 


well, i'm happy to report that attitudes change. and in fact, opposing opinions can easily turn into inspiration if we let go our our egos and remain curious. yes! that is me plus six others in our underwear on top of mt. whitney!!

my friends and i agreed to strip down to our underwear/bikinis when we arrived at the summit. in fact, our two new friends scott & alisa (dad & daughter thru hikers) were open to the idea as well. so when we all reached the summit, we looked at each other and said, "are we really doing this?!" there was an unsaid excitement in the air as we quickly stripped down in the cold. we recruited a lady walking around in her green puffy jacket to take our pictures while a 15-person boy scout troup we yo-yoed with during the trip, hooted & hollered in the background. 


my lesson learned is to consider my certainties....and to re-consider them.


maybe my no or yes can turn into inspiration for saying yesyesyes! or nonono! maybe in re-considering the things i'm absolutely certain - even judgemental - about can be a source for whimsy and inspiration, that i can even invite friends (and strangers) to take part in. maybe it's a source for creating those unforgettable moments that break us out of what we think we know in order to experience something we wouldn't have even considered. maybe it's a catalyst for stepping more and more into being alive. and certainly...it's a source for immense fun!  ;-)

high sierra trail | following

the light drew us awake

the path led us

to follow lively rivers

and forests of life and decay

up mountains with sheer drops

jumping from rock to rock that were

tango dancing with flowing snow

still lakes, valleys of magnificence

mountain tops capped by exquisite sunsets

the darkness called us to be still

it brought rest

and restlessness

the darkness freckled by a world of light

only to be seen 

as we went higher and higher

to gaze straight into her face

all these things seen

felt

experienced

touched

untouched

finally broke me.

all of the beauty

pain

suffering

awe

finally broke me.

all i could do was nod, "yes."

friday morning thots | 8.19.11

two things:
...
what i have learned
what i have come to know as true,
solidifies via passage through a wilderness

...

if you do something enough times, you'll get good at it. 

it's just a matter of what you're getting good at. 

today, i'm running from one place to another to take care of my last few errands before i take off for a week-long backpacking trip in the sierras - the high sierra trail, to be exact. and on the very last day, we plan to summit mt. whitney where apparently, some people wear bikinis at 14,497' elevation. um, i certainly won't be wearing my bikini when i summit, but i'm glad someone felt the need to do so and post it on the trusty internets. cheers!

the wilderness. part iii. / friday morning thots.

i've been trying to work out why the trip into ventana was riddled in so much fear, and how i dealt with that fear. honestly, i have not been that scared in a really long time. i can't even remember the last time. the thing is that i wasn't in serious harm (at least not day one. day two was definitely more precarious). it was when my mind started panicking that i suddenly couldn't see straight anymore.

and once i started spiraling, i had only a few moments of mental rest before the fear would take over again. that's when i think having a voice of reason - a friendly voice - would've been helpful & calming. to hear something like..."liz, it's ok. we're not sure where we are, but we are still on this trail. it's overgrown and hard to see, but we're together. let's figure it out together."

*sigh

yielding to fear.
when we yield to fear, the fog can get thick, the colors stained, the view blurry.
we can easily get lost in what seems a certain way, but is in actuality something very different. this doesn't mean that you won't arrive at your destination, it just might be that the journey will be filled with (an unnecessary amount of) challenge/resistance. & sometimes it means missing the destination all together. mine was a bit of both.

curiosity as motivator.
what still surprises me is that curiosity is one of my major motivators. i had my mind set on something and i had to see it through. this time, it meant that i had to experience the tassajara hot springs (even though i ultimately could not find it).

i remember last year routing out a 25 mile run and finishing it, even when i had very raw moments when i said to myself (sometimes audibly), "i'm so fucking tired! i can't do this anymore!!!!" but, i would keep going.

i'm so curious to know if i can do "it".
i'm curious to see things i've never seen.
i'm curious to experience what i have yet to experience.

curiosity helps me navigate through fear.

i hope that the next time i am faced with fear, the fog clears more quickly and that i can see that all it is....is a big wall of nothing. i do not want to yield to fear anymore. (it scares the shit out of me! lol. plus, i think i'm ready for another adventure!) :)

the wilderness. part i.

solo backpacking trip into the ventana wilderness.
28 hours, ~22 miles, ~4000' elevation gain, ~30lb pack
bookended by a 125 mile drive to/from arroyo seco.

i'm glad i went on this trip, even though i was riddled in fear many times. in fact, i feel like i'm still shaken up by how much fear i experienced, mostly all thoughts of "what if's" and crazy scenarios that i played out in my head while being alone in the back country. (thinking about 127 hours was not helpful.)

with that said, i made a list of things i would do differently next time:
1. bring a friend. (defeats the "solo" aspect of the trip...but i think it'd be worth it any day!)
2. carry a compass
3. don't bring a 1.5lb book! you'll ultimately want to burn the pages to make the load lighter.
4. figure out how to gauge mileage accurately.
5. refill on water sooner.
6. i don't like the hassle of eating/i don't like eating when i'm super tired. figure out yummier
& easier eats to pack in the calories that doesn't require much work.
7. when they say it's "less traveled" they mean it; don't expect or hope to see anyone.
8. get some trekking poles & sunglasses
9. should've brought my chacos. should've learned that there would be over a dozen river crossings!
10. 50mm is just okay; next time, bring a wide angle even if it's heavier. it'll be worth it.
11. learn what to do when you approach a snake.
12. don't forget the dorky ankle brace.
13. stay open to the journey, not just at arriving at the destination. (but if focusing on the destination helps get you through, freakin do what it takes!)

a few more:
14. figure out a tasty & easy protein source. (realized i relied almost solely on carbs. oops)
15. knowing the gist of the trip was okay, but i think it would've made for a better experience if i did more research ahead of time.

i think the only thing that would've dramatically changed the trip for me would've been #1, having a friend on the journey.