to be a monk. or, just a wannabe.

it's hard to believe that i've been back in the bay for 11 days. just one day longer than i was in montana. the past 11 days have gone by too quickly, too busily, too too much of everything. as a point of comparison, the richness of each day in montana easily flowers into my memory, alive with every detail. but i can barely remember the whirlwind of activity that has been whizzed past me in the same amount of time. how unfortunate! i regret allowing my mind to get overwhelmed by a belief that i needed to fill my time and "be productive."

more than ever before, i've been acutely bothered by the pace of life and the insane drive here in the silicon valley. i feel a growing desire to move away from the frenetic silicon valley beat, and instead, find and listen attentively to the native rhythm of life. what might that feel like? what would that look like?

thankfully, i am flying to france on wednesday to spend ten uninterrupted days on a tiny island called Île-aux-Moines -- or, "island of the monks." part of my fiance's family is from france, so we're making a trip to visit with them and to rest.

i have been told that no cars are allowed on this island, and that everyone travels by bicycle or on foot. i'm looking forward to just being there, observing, loving, laughing, enjoying, slowing,... and i'm especially looking forward to picking up my camera again. it has collected a bit of dust over the past few months, and i feel the tiniest itch that the island will awaken me creatively.

defogged.

breakthroughs are exquisite, aren't they?

chicago | never been

when my dear friend moved out to chicago a couple years ago for grad school, i remember saying to myself that i would go visit her at some point. well, that point has arrived!

i'm finally going to chicago nov 9-13! it'll be fantastic to catch up with the first person i met in college, who i felt like i could be completely my crazy-let-my-hair-loose self with (probably because she was the only other korean from so cal in that wild hippy santa cruz potpourri of folks). 

besides spending time with the dear friend, i'll be at the beckoning of lovely 11/11/11 event hosted by amy krouse rosenthal. i think i'll wear a yellow jacket to match her yellow umbrella, so if any of you plan on going, please say hello. everyone is welcome!


o, and ... i plan on checking out windy city crossfit. hope i actually make it to a class; it's always a little intimidating to visit a new crossfit gym.

friday morning thots | 8.5.11

being drawn towards...

• asheville, nc (north carolina in general)
• ashland, or
• chicago, il
• spain
• south of france-ish
• boulder, ut
• right here. 

ah, the inklings can be so persuasive.

puerto rico | texture | el morro

what can i say, i'm a sucker for texture.

the ruins in old san juan made for an incredibly inspiring photography outing.

i mean goll--y! the textures are exquisite. i could stare at them for a quite some time.

friday morning thots 4.8.11

could it be that my dreams have become reality?

sunrise at philly airport en route to san juan, puerto rico.

quote | lawrence k. fish

find life experiences and swallow them whole.

travel.

meet many people.

go down some dead ends and explore dark alleys.

try everything.

exhaust yourself in the glorious pursuit of life.

-lawrence k. fish

disconnecting to reconnect

i'm taking a week to disconnect, so that i can reconnect with what's before me.
i want to give my full attention to the fragrances exuded from bodies and spaces encountered, textures of the landscape, and percolations of my heart.

and remember what's important....

whatever i am leaving undone
whatever i need to do upon my return
will be remain here

& i take all of me to be explored and to explore.

backpack, camera, journal & open heart in tow,

i'll be in puerto rico until the fifth of april.

*won't you come with? ;)

i need

to be reminded of my heart connection to muhammed.
he will never know the impact he's made on my life. he im-pressed upon my heart. my mind.
when you go on vacation, are you more open to learning, trying new things, exploring, &meeting people?

but when you get back into the daily grind, doesn't that spontaneity and happenstance take up residence next to non-existence? heads down, ear plugs in, mind in a 100 different locations...

it makes sense that we are lost.

lost to the beauty around us. not because it does not exist, but because we can not see it. we choose not to.

when i was in portland, i met a number of people that all had this "thing" about them. ... they were wide open &unassuming...sharing freely as i asked them questions. this type of person often photographs differently. no kidding. something about them gives me permission to "come on in." so i do. and in turn, they are also letting you in.

they are the opposite of guarded.
guarded.
guarded. ...

i want to carry that spirit of being wide open with me wherever i am. i don't want my heart to look like this. because behind these gates, there are more things dead than alive.
i wonder what it might be like to live in a place where there's just a little less guardedness in the world.

i want to be the opposite of guarded.

Wind Chapped

No traffic and high speeds will get a person anywhere really fast. My drive up to Pt. Reyes was breathtaking. Swerving in and out along the cliffs left me feeling exhilerated, and wondering why I had never known of this path before. I spent a gorgeous Friday watching elk, climbing beauty, eating home-cooked yummys, and exchanging heart love with Amy. Later that night, we went to watch "Under the Tuscan Sun" at a "theatre" in Pt. Reyes Station (the big town with population less than 900). Surrounded by plastic yard chairs with cushions, 4 other people, and organic popcorn by our side, Amy and I enjoyed everything about our night out on the town. The local who hosts these movie nights is Academy Award winner, John Korty. He seemed like a sweet man with a gentle, yet passionate, love for film. I enjoyed my brief conversation with him and found myself wanting to become his little friend.























This morning, Amy and I grabbed breakfast at Pine Cone Diner. Greasy hashbrowns, chicken apple sausage, poached eggs, wheat toast, apricot marmalade...it was all extremely delicious. We parted ways and afterward I found myself doing all sorts of things: meandering through the street(s) of Pt. Reyes Station, meeting a dog with purple and blue polka dot bandages around its head, getting pushed around by extreme wind, witnessing a recent birth of a calf, voraciously inhaling 3 persimmons in 5 minutes, driving at high speeds (again), and climbing hills to get pictures of a root. I felt overwhelmed by the beauty of nature today, and at times felt like my heart/mind/soul/body couldn't contain it.

















































Windy and squinty - I put my hair down so I could feel like a super model with hair blowing everywhere.
























I'm not sure how or why, but the quality of my pictures are compromised. This is quite disheartening because the picture of this man below is just so surreal. He looked like a caricature, but not really because he was real and live. I could even touch him if I wanted to - well, not quite. He sat at the Bolimas fair as if he didn't have a care in the world - just sitting eating his food as if he had just walked out of his home studio after painting for several days. I wish I could just observe him for days and days.