quote | change

Change of one sort or another is the essence of life, so there will always be the loneliness and insecurity that come with change. When we refuse to accept that loneliness and insecurity are part of life, when we refuse to accept that they are the price of change, we close the door on many possibilities for ourselves; our lives become lessened…. Life evolves; change is constant.

Jean Vanier

bike | epa to santa cruz

i'm usually up for physical challenges. 

just thinking about them get my wheels spinning. so when my friends and i decided to watch pickwick in santa cruz, i thought, "why not bike there?" i had never done such a thing and it made me wonder if i could. thanks to the east bay bike campers group chiming in on the route, i decided to ride to the coast and take hwy 1 the rest of the way south. this was my exact route and the ride was just under 70 miles, taking me 7 hours to complete it. 

but, it was daunting to think about. up until the night before, i had secretly hoped that it would rain that day so i'd have a legitimate excuse to cancel the ride. i was feeling scared to go at this alone, in case some horrible accident happened and i'd be found splattered down some steep hill. (clearly, my mind likes to make up crazy stories to get out of the unknown!) 

so i woke up on friday, 2/24 and it was a perfectly beautiful day. (damn!) i packed up 2 pb&j's, 3 bars, 2 apples, and electrolyte drinks and set off at 9:30am to spend the next 7 hours in mostly solitude.

the last time i did something solo for 7 hours, i experienced a complete mind shift: from wondering if i could do something, to wondering if there might be an early way out, to believing that i can accomplish what i set out to do. the remnants of that run was so clearly felt during this bike ride. it was a rush to get up to the top of skyline, which meant i'd be going downhill all the way to the coast.

then it'd be up and down the coastal hills for about 35 miles. the first one being a bit of a beast.

at about mile 45, my bottom clearly communicated to me that it was done, but we still had 25 miles to go. when the pain started, i definitely had long moments when i considered contingency plans...."could i flag someone down and load my bike into their car? maybe i can call esther or heather to pick me up. or what if...?"

but i kept going. 

and stopped by pie ranch to rest for a few minutes to enjoy an apple. 

as i approached swanton ranch, i saw a sign that said "pumpkin pie" and without any thought, i pulled a fast left across the hwy and rolled right up for some pie lovin. i devoured the slice within minutes as i gazed at the vast ocean collecting energy and inspiration to keep going.

as with most endings, it was pretty anti-climactic to see the city limit sign. there was, however, a one-person party inside my heart...a little person blowing a small party horn and wearing a sparkly hat. 

i smiled, and road on.

the fosths // steve, heather, ian, & georgia mae

simply put, the fosths are my family.

we met one very fateful thanksgiving day in 2008 & everything changed. my encounter with the fosths, particularly heather, reminds me that i never know who i might meet and how we may alter the course of each others' lives forever.

if i could offer one word of advice, it's: pay attention to the connections you make & the people you meet.
let yourself be affected.
let yourself be drawn in.
let yourself be changed.






we spent a lovely afternoon at foothill park in the exclusive palo alto residents only hideaway. (the only reason we got in was because there was no park officer guarding the entrance.) it was my first time being out in the beautiful hills since my injury, and i felt full from breathing in soft wafts of nature love. :)





i was especially struck by how georgia mae was completely in her element. she ran ran ran all around the open space & it was clear to me that in this space, she could be the free bird that she was created to be. i loved watching her, when i wasn't taking photos of the rest of the fam.




and ian. my gosh he is photogenic. just look at this handsome boy. he's charming, isn't he? *future heart breaker?


we ended on this amazing note.

i love you guys.
xo,
lizzy

winter [this space between] spring

what seemed like torrents of rain, cloudy days, cold winds, & feeling kinda trapped...to what is now more soft blue skies, precise outlines of white fluffy clouds, radiant sunrises and sunsets, and a crisp moistness in the air ... it's clear that spring is near, not just b/c the calendar tells us so.

i feel like i'm in that [in between] state.
that space where the harsh winter storm is finally settling down and where we get glimpses of sunshine between the now sporadic sprinkles of rainfall. i believe this final flow of rain marks the cleansing of one thing and the nourishing of another.

these are all markings that a new season is making its way.

i see hope written all over the the tiny blossoms forming on apricot trees.
i take a deep breath in, and the concoction of the winter chill dancing with the warmth of life-giving sun rays intoxicates me.
the asparagus that laid dormant over the last several months, are breaking through the manure and springing forth. they cheerfully arise and most humbly say, "we are here! glorious & delightfully edible!"

dear spring, i didn't realize how much i awaited your arrival.
thank you for making your way for a visit.
you are so very welcome here.
i think i love you.
in fact, i do.
:*) [that's me blushing]

and

...so it is.
i woke up on sunday and took this. it's my goodbye 2008 and welcome 2009 self-portrait.

welcome 2009.
welcome tomorrow.
i welcome you.

this season of change has arrived like the sharpness of this year's unexpected winter cold.

&i'm grateful for it. there's much to look forward to as well as be present to.



i want to know one thing that you hope for in our little 2009. do share.